Another Tack: Diabolical Jewish Bikes

But the Jew on the train objects: “It’s all the fault of bicycles.”

But the Jew on the train objects: “It’s all the fault of bicycles.”

With so much going on, it was no wonder that the reaction by Hebronites to a Gazan rocket that crashed in their midst went right under our radar. We had way bigger concerns and still do but the incident is nevertheless instructive – very much so. It can actually account for why no peace is possible. It  firmly confirms that our logic and that of our neighbors operate on different wavelengths – an underlying and enduring fact of life that makes a meeting of the minds highly unlikely.

But to put the overlooked Hebron episode into context it might be best to start off with Alter Druyanov.

His name, alas, means absolutely nothing to the vast majority of Israelis today. Sic transit Gloria mundi. The output of this literary mover and shaker in newborn Tel Aviv is familiar only to nostalgia buffs and compulsive hoarders of esoterica. But in Druyanov’s anthology of Jewish jokes hides an unassuming little tale that is still sadly all-too-relevant to our scene.

Adhering to yesteryear’s time-tried format, a Jew rides the train and sharing the same compartment is a non-Jew – a Russian in some versions and a German in others.  The non-Jewish traveler cogitates out loud that “all the wars, bloodshed, wretchedness and ill-will on earth are caused by Jews.” But the Jew across from him objects: “It’s all the fault of bicycles.”

“Bicycles?” thunders the bewildered Russian/German, “Why? How come bicycles?”

In calm, measured tones his interlocutor inquires: “How come Jews?”

It’s doubtful that the role of bikes in bringing every conceivable calamity upon humankind will be empirically examined in the Arab world. In realms where the Czarist forgery disseminated as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion and Hitler’s obnoxious Mein Kampf are still runaway best-sellers (for those who at all read), it’s still clear as day that the only blameworthy culprits for whatever are inescapably Jews.

In the Arab world, lest it be lost on the rest of the world – and this is no anecdote from Druyanov’s dated compilation of Jewish humor – the Jews started both world wars, were behind both the Lincoln and Kennedy assassinations (James Garfield and William McKinley apparently left little impression in Arabia) and spread polio and AIDS (occasionally also cancer and cholera).

They ritually bake assorted holiday pastries (from Passover matza to Purim cookies) with the blood of abducted Christian/Muslim tots. They fabricated the grand Holocaust hoax and at the same time they are as evil, if not way worse than the perpetrators of the Holocaust (which presumably never was). And in the present day Jews are the unseen malicious manipulators in the killing fields of Syria, Iraq, Libya, Yemen, Sudan and even Egypt.

Not to forget, it was the Jews who brought down the Twin Towers and even forewarned fellow Jews to avoid the site on the day of the atrocity, which is why “there were no Jewish casualties…” There’s no point trying to counter any of the above fables with facts. We can individually name all the many Jews who died at the World Trade Center on 9/11 but any consumers of the latter-day Arabian Nights Tales are conditioned never to believe what they hear.

Besides, the Hamas Charter informs the faithful that “the Jews are the instigators of all strife in this world.” That proclamation is ample evidence in and of itself. The Hamas manifesto confidently determines that “there was no war that broke out anywhere without the Jews’ fingerprints on it.”

Get a load of Hamas historiography: “Jews stood behind the French and Communist revolutions and behind most all revolutions…. They also used money to establish clandestine organizations… to destroy societies and carry out Zionist interests. Such organizations are: the Freemasons, Rotary Clubs, Lions Clubs, B’nai B’rith, etc. All of them are destructive spying organizations.”

Nobody, maintains the Hamas Charter, disputes that “Jews stood behind WWI, so as to wipe out the Islamic Caliphate… and established the League of Nations in order to rule the world by means of that organization. They also stood behind WWII…. They inspired the establishment of the UN and the Security Council to replace the League of Nations, in order to rule the world by their intermediary.”

Lavishing liberal love on Gaza won’t do the trick because Hamas, according to its Covenant, is leery of do-gooders who come with “publicity and movies, curricula of education and culture, using as their intermediaries their craftsmen who are part of the various Zionist Organizations which take on all sorts of names and shapes such as the Freemasons, Rotary Clubs, gangs of spies and the like. All of them are nests of saboteurs and sabotage.”

Get it? Nothing in this existence is what it seems. Literally a stone’s throw from our doorstep reality is regarded as comprised of layer upon shadowy layer, one concealed behind another. Cloaked schemers abound, each exploiting another schemer, each duping someone for secret ends. Life is an interminable complex of nefarious conspiracies in which it’s best not to trust anyone but suspect everyone.

In the Arab Middle East one and all assume they are being conned and no one can ever convincingly contest this premise. Truth isn’t only immaterial; it’s downright undesirable. Assiduous rejection of the truth guarantees that there would never be an earnest reevaluation of the foundation for that undying enmity to Israel.

This, after all, is the region that ecstatically celebrated Nasser as the out-and-out victor following his 1956 and 1967 debacles. Given their penchant for hogwash, it wasn’t difficult for Hamas hotshots to insist that their rockets are effective and aren’t neutralized by Israel’s Iron Dome. No way were their mammoth investments in monster military stockpiles a bust, not even after their rockets were revealed to be useless against sophisticated Jewish defenses.

Official Gaza mulishly contends that Israel’s heartland is bleeding badly but “the Zionist regime” shrewdly covers up all the death and destruction. Even mass funerals are conducted stealthily on its orders, claimed Hamas mouthpieces in an effort to buck up their people’s spirits and resolve. Nothing boosts Arab morale more than dead Jews. In the disagreeable event that no major casualties were inflicted on the Jews – not for lack of Hamas effort – Jewish casualties can be invented. A fertile imagination can correct any unfavorable circumstance.

Thus, when a rocket traverses the evening skies and touches down in Hebron, the last thing you’d expect of Hebronite Arabs is to look reality in the eye. They are hardly apt to concede that the potentially lethal projectile was a gift from their Gazan brethren, who admittedly aimed to murder Jews but missed the mark. No way can a sober assessment of the situation be expected.

The piteous misery motif promoted so powerfully by Hamas propagandists isn’t scrutinized in Gaza or Hebron, although Hamas’s exploitation of the masses is second only to North Korea’s. Nobody is likely to ponder how there can be abject poverty in Gaza when obviously there’s enough wherewithal for the importation and manufacture of firepower. There’s enough cement to fortify innumerable labyrinths of underground tunnels to facilitate gunrunning, sabotage, abduction and homicide but there’s never enough for schools, hospitals, housing and community facilities. There’s electricity for the rocket factories but not for households. There’s shelter for the honchos but ordinary folks must function as human shields for Hamas property.

There’s always more comfort in the convoluted world of conspiracy theories and hence Hebronites needed no critical investigation to arrive at the instant and anticipated conclusion that the Jews did it. They can spot Jewish intrigue even when it comes down from Gaza’s direction in a deafening thud.

And so the Number-One narrative asserted that the Jews had vindictively aimed that rocket at Hebron’s mild-mannered Arabs.  The Hebronite consensus was that this was no Gazan rocket but an Israeli mock-up fired deceitfully to emulate an errant projectile from Gaza. The Jews, it was stated, took predictable advantage of all the background commotion and – between their bombing of Gaza and Gaza’s heroic rocketing of Israel – had pulled another wily subterfuge. This is just what’s to be expected of underhanded Jews and hence it’s true.

No Hebronite bothered to dwell upon a minor inconsistency in the sly-Jewish-scam scenario. If the Jews are so accomplished in their exploits, why did their rocket plunge down where it didn’t wreak real havoc? Surely the Jews know how to aim with satanic accuracy.

Here, however, is where a variation on the theme enters into play, one which makes allowances for Jewish cunning. Even if it’s accepted – for argument’s sake only, say Hebronites – that it was a Gazan rocket that disturbed their peace, why didn’t the Iron Dome intercept it? The answer is manifest: those crafty Jews calculated the rocket’s trajectory, realized it was headed for an Arab population center and therefore callously decided to let it do its worst.

See? No way can Jews come out looking even semi-good out of any turn of events. We might explain till we’re blue in the face that it’s pointless to intercept rockets about to nose-dive into open spaces. Cagey sorts steeped in convoluted cabals find such rationale intrinsically suspicious. Nothing we perceive as reasonable, unambiguous and straightforward is trusted in settings where absolutely nothing is ever reasonable, unambiguous and straightforward.

If Druyanov’s generic Jew shared a train compartment with a Hebronite or Gazan passenger and postulated that bicycles are to blame for all that plagues this planet’s denizens, his words would be met by nods of avid agreement. The Arab commuter would then promptly elaborate on the sure-fire certainty that these are “diabolical Jewish bikes… Jews devised them. Jews were spotted pedaling the infernal two-wheelers. They habitually steer them and they are also known to hide behind them…”

9 thoughts on “Another Tack: Diabolical Jewish Bikes

  1. And your excellently articles portrays a good reason why Jews of a Liberal left leaning should realise that it is high time to stop trying to justify and ingratiate themselves with non Jews who deep down care not one jot for our existence. Those of our people who want to show that they are more secular and distanced from their heritage and are desperate to be accepted by their surrounding nefarious chattering classes.

  2. What a great euphemism Sarah created when she described the muzzies as “consumers of latter-day Arabian Nights.” What a polite way to show disdain for those uncivilised untermenschen.

  3. I was against our soldiers entering Gaza; because we would end up with casualities and no results. Unfortunately we entered and now we are pressured to stop fighting with no long term solution. We must stand up for our rights to defend ourselves and get the problem solved once and for all.

    The peace agreement to end the Gaza war MANIFESTO. We must require that Hamas complies before we stop the attacks :

    1. An unconditional surrender by Hamas Islamic terrorists in Gaza.

    2. Israeli armed forces will have 100% control of Gaza until the plan below is implemented.

    3. Total disarmament of terrorists.

    4. Arrests and conviction of the terrorist leaders for their crimes against the citizens of Gaza and Israel.

    5. Israel to monitor that Gaza does not revert back to terrorism.

    6. No use of other armies to monitor and control Gaza—such as the UN, EU or even the US soldiers—since they cannot be relied upon to perform their duties. (To name a few failures: Sinai, Gaza and the Lebanon borders)

    7. Gaza will be divided into three areas, similar to Judea and Samaria:

    Area A: to include cities like Gaza City, to be controlled by Arabs. (Only Arabs to reside there—no access to Jews). Note: The agreement will be parallel and similar to the Oslo agreement, as well as comply with the PLO and now Abbas’s requirements, to not allow Jews to live in Area A just like in Judea and Samaria.

    Area B: the Northern parts of Gaza, other than the large cities, will be monitored by joint Arab and Israeli presences. (Only Arabs will reside in those areas).

    Area C: Philadelphi corridor of 5 kilometers to revert to Jewish ownership and control—(Only Jews to have access and residential rights.) The expelled Jews (by Sharon) will be welcome to return to their homes in Gush Katif.

    8. The refugee problem of the Palestinians and reparations for the Jewish refugees from Arab lands must be solved within one year; through the supervision of the Israel Government. The camps in Gaza will be dismantled and converted to regular cities. Within the one year UNWRA & UN must depart and and close all Gaza refugee camps. There is no reason for UNWRA to stay since they have failed to solve the refugee problem in 60 years; while 100’s of millions of other worldwide refugees problems have been solved in the past 80 years.

  4. Diabolical Jewish bikes tell it ALL !
    Evil idiots cannot be persuaded by any kind of arguments, they believe in the Elders of Zion and they will NEVER get Judea and Samaria.
    The Gaza war must be the final chapter of that madness called “two state solution” !!!

  5. I thought “The Elders of Zion” was a fabrication, not a forgery?

    In the new era of “clean wars”, what would satisfy the U.N. that Jewish behavior in Gaza is legit?
    Maybe the IDF should sent out men with white flags (taking the risk of being shot at by snipers0,
    to knock at all the doors to ensure that nobody is home before firing projectiles. Warning people
    to leave their houses also ensures that “the resistance” also evacuates; good thinking!

    I wonder if and when the Israeli government rebuts the U.N charges of IDF war crimes.
    It’s clearly Hamas that is guilty of war crimes, failing to protect their civilians by not providing
    bomb shelters and instead, using them as human shields and scoring propaganda victories
    by daily providing the world media with pictures of the victims.

    While the Israelis have, so far, dodged the missiles, they continue to lose support in the court
    of public opinion. So who’s winning?

  6. Do any of you remember the Jenin Massacre? Think back to 2002. What were the casualties? Guess, before I tell you – it was 23 IDF and 52 armed Palestinian gunmen. That there was a two to one discrepancy is that Israelis are better fighters and it was ONLY one to two because Israel did everything it could to avoid civilian casualties. It went house to house, exposing its soldiers to fire. And only when fired upon, fired back. The reason you don’t remember it that way was that Arafat immediately called it “the Jenin Massacre” and it stuck. Then Saeb Erekat (yes, the same guy – unless they die, they remain to haunt you(unlike true ghosts). You’ll be happy to know the family has a new batch. The Erekat and Bargouthi families both have cottage industries slandering Jews for princely sums) maintained five hundred Palestinians were massacred. There were worse lies, but you can find them for yourself. When the UN report was published, four months later, giving the 52 to 23 count, no one remembered anything but the word, “massacre”. That was the text, now for the commentary. When the next war happened, Cast Lead, at the end of 2008, Israel remembered. It said, rightly, to my way of thinking, since they are going to call it a genocide anyway, why be overly concerned? That ratio was a hundred to one. And yes, Israel was castigated again for causing a genocide, a holocaust. A new war crime of disproportionality was invented. Today’s is at twenty to one. Somewhere in the middle. Jews have it difficult – we cannot be too good or too bad. Can you imagine the Allies in WWII having such concerns? Yes, bomb Dresden, but make sure to lose a few planes.

  7. Dear Sarah,
    I was happy to find your comments in your blog! Among so many snakes, scorpions and idiots it was nice to see how you defend my country (Israel). Hamas is a fundamental Islamic movement that says clearly and openly what is their “final solution”. Like others from the recent history they use propaganda and blood to fight against Israel. My personal political opinion belongs to the left map of Israeli politics (Labor Party) and I think that we should leave West Bank and withdraw with an agreement with Abu-Mazen, leaving some territorial parts based on security into Israel. However, as my late father (he was a historian) said that he is not sure that the right wing of Israeli politics is not wrong saying that the Palestinians never gave up the idea to destroy Israel !!! Looking around in the Middle East swamp (including Turkey with his foolish PM) there is not much hope of peace. By the way, your anecdote on Jews and bicycles, it was running many years ago in my former country Romania as the ” Jews and plumbers”, in any case it did not help us much as so many are educated to hate us. Perhaps the best say is by Golda Meir: “it will be peace in the Middle East when Arabs will love their children more than they hate the Jews (Israelis)! Best, keep going against so much ignorance and venom !!!
    Sincerely yours,
    Robert (now in Finland for summer Sabbatical)
    P.S. I found in Finland real good, honest and modest people (a nation of real human beings!)

  8. ‘our neighbors operate on different wavelengths’ – these people are certainly on another wave length.. they are killing Christians in Nigeria…Buddhists in Thailand…they fight each other in Gaza and the West Bank… they are fighting Hebrews in the Holy Land…they slaughtered each other in the Iran-Iraq war…and in Kuwait…and in Jordan… they are currently slaughtering each other in Iraq and Syria.. …in Pakistan…in Afghanistan… they have deliberately blown up innocents in London… Spain…Bali… New York…… Israel…Pakistan…Afghanistan… so what wave length are these people on… S H Cohen

  9. Sarah, your erudite analyses of facts, truisms and suppositions never cease to pique my mind, and I am mentally encouraged to respond with personal thoughts of having been witness to, or having had some of the experiences you comment on in your blogs. I pray that the IDF and IAF do not stop their ‘operations’ in the Gaza (and, if be, in other theatres of threatening wars) only to STOP future altercations and wars to be repeated, ‘The Job’ of destroying enemy operations, if not completed by the Israelis, will be due to ‘outside pressures to quit defeating the terrorists’ by those who hate Israel and Jews in particular…Barach Obama stays ‘unusually silent’ these days (about the Gaza war) in order to be behind his demands that his ‘hatchet man Kerry’ continues ‘annoying the Israeli effort’. Obama is silently behind his effort to save Hamas, Hesballa, Iran and any other terrorists Jew hating groups whom Israel is capable of defeating. Can’t wait for Obamas presidency to come to an end. His silence on not ‘backing Israel’ during their war efforts to fight terrorism is mind boggleing, along with his clandestine, very obvious moves to ‘weaken the powers of good against evil’.

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